I recently scrolled through Pinterest (I’m a white, millennial female, it’s what we do) and for fun, looked at the “single girl” tag. To my surprise and disappointment, it was filled with either depressing jokes about singledom or helpful tutorials on “what to do while you’re waiting for Mr. Right”. Or worse, “15 Prayers to Pray While You’re Waiting for Your Perfect Christian Boyfriend that God is Totally Sending You – Here Are 13 Out of Context Verses That Prove That God Cares Very Much About You Having a Boyfriend”.
Are…we serious?
I think what really sent me over the edge was one of those 31 Days Challenge. You know the ones–31 Days of Squats, 31 Days of Eating Paleo, 31 Days of Budgeting, 31 Days of Failing at a 31 Days Challenge…
This particular challenge was “31 Days Challenge for Single Girls”. I clicked on it, expecting some fun positive affirmations, suggestions for single girls, adventures for the independent ones to try–instead, I got ‘challenges’ like this.
“Give that cute boy you’ve been eyeing your phone number!”
“Flirt with the barista who makes your coffee!”
“Have your coupled friend set you up–blind dates can be fun!”
“Post a flirty comment on your crush’s social media page!”
…
I think this Challenge is missing the point of being single. Single is not a waiting period until I find The Boyfriend. Single is about living my life, discovering myself, bettering myself, enjoying myself–it’s about ME, not a mythical entity. The Boyfriend is not Heaven and Single is not Purgatory. The Boyfriend is a possibility, not an expectation. Treating singledom like a weird training period for a relationship marathon (I’m enjoying these metaphors, can you tell?) is dumb and ultimately pointless.
So in my feminist white girl outrage, I decided to do my own 31 Day Challenge for Single Girls. I’m taking back the 31 Day Challenge for Single Girls. Pinterest didn’t do it properly, SO I WILL, BY GOD. And I want you guys to do it with me.
DAY 1: Post a selfie. I am very pro-selfie. Don’t you dare delete it once you’ve posted it. Let everyone enjoy your selfie. I demand to enjoy your selfie.
DAY 2: Write down 5 bucket list things you want to accomplish in the next 5 years. DO NOT write “get married/get a boyfriend”. I’ll know if you do.
DAY 3: Post a selfie with another fabulous single girlfriend. Do gangsta poses. (You do not have to do gangsta poses, but I will do gangsta poses with the unfortunate friend I coerce.)
DAY 4: Go somewhere in your city/town/country/desert island you haven’t been before. This could be a restaurant you haven’t tried before, or a coffee shop, or a park, or field. Go by yourself. Bring a journal.
DAY 5: Plan an international trip, even if you can’t afford it. Highlight 9 places you’d want to see, memorize a phrase in a foreign language, create a Pinterest board for it.
DAY 6: Go to an art or history (or both) museum. Find an exhibit that moves you. Journal about it. (Or snap a pic and Instagram it)
DAY 7: Read a book or article by someone you wouldn’t ordinarily choose to read. (Ask for recommendations by friends with different tastes)
DAY 8: Wear something daring. Big earrings, high heels, green eyeshadow, quirky scarf, a new hairstyle, something that shoots you out of your style comfort zone. (Obviously dependent on your work/school environment–but if you can for a little bit that day, DO IT!)
DAY 9: Find a woman you admire–celebrity, writer, musician, activist, historical figure. Journal about her. Quote her on FB or Twitter. Tell a friend about her.
DAY 10: Note all the single female friends in your life. Make a point to compliment each one of them–“Hey girl, just wanted to say I love your passion for sea turtles. Keep doing you!” “Bestie, your hair is always magical and I hate you for it but also I love you.”
DAY 11: Have a Vintage style day. Love Audrey Hepburn? Wear a little black dress. Marilyn Monroe? Get that flowy white dress and heels. Katharine Hepburn? Rock those trousers.
DAY 12: Go to a bar alone or with girlfriends–order a drink you’ve never tried before. (Substitute this with Starbucks if you’re underage!)
DAY 13: Cook something all by yourself. Cook it for your roommate, your bestie–or go for the gold and EAT IT ALL YOURSELF.
DAY 14: Reorganize a room in your house. Blast Hamilton while you do it. (I should probably suggest a badass girl’s band or something but I’ve been in a Hamilton mood so I will be blasting Hamilton while I do this.)
DAY 15: Plant something. Target has $1 mini buckets where you can plant an herb or flowers. Super easy.
DAY 16: Buy yourself some flowers. Write yourself a love poem. (Or an affirmation)
DAY 17: Make your bed AMAZING. Add some more squashy pillows. DIY a canopy. Hang tea lights. Get a Totoro fuzzy blanket. (As someone who was gifted with a Totoro fuzzy blanket by a fabulous single best friend, I can attest to their amazingness)
DAY 18: Get some wine, blast your favorite music, have a house dance party. I have a roommate so I will probably be coercing her, but if you’re alone, DANCE DANCE.
DAY 19: Youtube a makeup tutorial and learn how to do something. Winged eyeliner? Perfect red lips? Whatever the hell contouring means?
DAY 20: Splurge on something fancy. For me, this may mean a trip to Sephora. For you, it may mean something else. Treat yo’self.
DAY 21: Netflix and chill night–literally. Movie marathon or TV binge watch–just get in your PJ’s, grab some chocolate and popcorn, and then veg.
DAY 22: Chat up a female mentor figure in your life. Ask her perspective on something. (If you don’t have a female mentor figure in your life, GO FIND ONE.)
DAY 23: Buy Wonder Woman underwear. If you don’t want Wonder Woman underwear, get a Wonder Woman T-shirt. If you don’t like Wonder Woman, get the hell off my blog.
DAY 24: Look up an event in your area. Indie concert with a band you’ve never heard of? Coloring club? Yoga on a roof? Make plans by yourself or with other single girls and go do it.
DAY 24: Try a hair tutorial–on someone else.
DAY 25: Try a Lush bath bomb. Yes, they’re totally faddish but they are also ridiculously fun.
DAY 26: Get a new tattoo. If that ain’t your thing, get some temporary tattoos. If you are going the temporary tattoo route, PLEASE make them ridiculous temporary tattoos. Might I suggest this gem.
DAY 27: Have a Nerf gun battle with some of your closest friends. Don’t hold back. End them.
DAY 28: Take a photo of something weird in your city. Weird statue? Weird sign? Weird tree that looks like Nick Cage? TAKE A PICTURE. INSTAGRAM THAT NONSENSE.
DAY 29: Write some snail mail letters to your best friends. Don’t tell them you’re doing it. Just surprise them with a card or letter letting them know that you love them and you’re grateful for them.
DAY 30: Get a pedicure or massage. You’ve earned it.
DAY 31: GO OUT WITH YOUR BEST SINGLE GIRLFRIENDS AND TOAST TO BEING SINGLE, INDEPENDENT, AND MARVELOUS.
A Phoenix in Oxford 